Today, the 26^th of April, Duckey and I went for a ride. We had originally hoped to meet up with other biker friends for a group ride. Turned out to just be the two of us. Frankly, on this day I was OK with that. I was not in the frame of mind to paste on a smile. The only reason I agreed to go on a ride was because I knew Duckey was needing to get out and ride – he hasn’t been able to because of knee surgery. I on the other hand felt no desire to do anything but stare off into space and try to wrap my brain around the events of Saturday.

Saturday was going to be my day to finalize my efforts of finally catching up on a backlog of paperwork. I sat down at my desktop computer. My financial program had been giving me a message to install an update. Learning from past experiences I backed up my financial data for the ministry and for our personal finances. That one task saved me a lot of stress. After I did the update I found my computer no longer had internet connection. When encountering a computer issue I have been told to reboot first to see if that fixes the problem. Well I restarted the computer but it would not start. It would not allow me to back up my data on an external hard drive or a flash drive. Normally I would be stressed over the fact I may have lost all my financial data and have to spend hours I don’t have to recreate said data. Ahhh, but I did my financial backups! One life lesson applied! I do have a laptop I use for minor things. I don’t trust it as it continually has glitches that has caused me to lose hours of work. My tech friend that provides assistant from afar had other obligations. So, I set out to do other tasks so I could at least be productive. Everything I tried to put my hand to gave back some type of hurdle. Friday, I had this awesome peace and excitement settle over me that I had posted on our ministry fb page. I was ready to do great things in the upcoming week to focus on getting our thrift store back open for business (thank you covid-19) and then Saturday it was roadblock after roadblock. But thanks to Duckey’s great patience we finally settled on working together to put up some screen on our outside gazebo/canopy. Then we set out for a quick trip to get some patio furniture so we can eat outside with friends and family in future days. Upon our return I went into the house to retrieve scissors to cut tags off the patio chairs. The scissors are in the drawer of the chest of drawers where my bird cage sat. I had this little zebra finch I received from a breeder friend as soon as he was able to leave his parents.  I had worked to give him this fun setup with a sink looking bird bath, beautiful thick greenery in the back to play in, a mirror with a perch, his only little wooden RV camper and other various perches. Now I love animals but it seems they love everybody else more than me. Except for my sweet Aggie that past just last August. But Soly (short for Solomon) seemed to love me lots. Instead of doing fly bys at my face he had gotten to hopping down to whatever perch my face was nearest and tilting his head. I would make finch noises at him, he would tweet back at me. Every night we sung him to sleep as we covered his cage. “Good night Sweet Soly, yeah it’s time to go… Ya know we love ya but we really must say, good night sweet Soly, good night.” Soly was fine when we left to get patio furniture. So as I said I went in to get those scissors. So of course I am going to take a moment and talk to Soly. Soly’s cage was of fair size, and he was a little bird. A couple times I have looked into his cage and not seen him… only to find him tucked in his greenery or sitting at the bottom of his cage where the bird seed dish blocked my view… Saturday as I peered around his cage, no Soly… now where could he be… I looked into the greenery and to my complete horror I saw snake skin… I know some people like snakes… I do not… I live in Florida and I understand the necessity of black snakes to keep poisonous snakes away… but for all practical and spiritual purposes, the snake, to me represents Satan… enemy number one. In that instant as I yelled for Duckey, threw open the back door and in tears yell there is a snake in the cage and he ate Soly I felt this overwhelming feeling that this was a spiritual attack. As Duckey came to my rescue and we gathered tools to get the snake out of the house and kill it I finally saw the head of the snake. A white feather from my precious Soly still hanging from it’s mouth as if to further taunt us. It had to be a horribly violent way for a sweet unsuspecting bird to die. Soly had no means of escape though my hope was he flew in his RV camper to hide, but alas that did not happen. Maybe he didn’t see what was coming. That little bird loved me. He was beginning to trust me. He was snatched away too soon. There is a lot more trauma in the world of bigger proportions. I get that. But to me in that moment it was trauma… seeing a snake where my fun, precious Soly abode. I say it felt like a spiritual attack because through that event it brought up a type of pain that I had only experienced a couple other times… in 2009 when I was battling bankruptcy and engine issues with the only vehicle I had to get me the 30 minutes to the thrift store that God had placed upon my heart to open in the midst of a recession – I still had no personal income and that vehicle was the only means to get to the thrift store to do work in hopes of turning my financial situation around… the other time was in 2015 when I discovered that my husband (not Duckey!) of 23 years was leading a secretive alternative lifestyle far from the Christian values we portrayed in our work and life. So needless to say as I revisited all that pain… coupled with lack of sleep wondering if there were other snakes in the house… and horrific dreams when I did sleep of finding more snakes…. Come Sunday morning I had no desire but to stare off into space and try to process the meaning of all this in this time frame. So when Duckey said our friends were not able to go on the ride – no offense to our friends – but I was OK with that because small talk was not on my agenda at all for the day. So we rode, just the two of us. I’ve always heard from God in the shower. But now that I have met Duckey another place I often hear from God is sitting on the ‘biker back seat’. Sitting back there taking in the passing views and being Duckey’s second pair of eyes… still allows me lots of thinking time…. Lot’s of time to listen… God brought to mind the verse about sparrows… This morning in our devotional time, I looked up that verse and read commentary related to it. Matthew 10:27-31. Jesus is teaching about the Fear of God. “Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore, you are of more value than many sparrows.”

In reading the commentary on these verses, I have come to this understanding. Even the smallest thing that happens on this earth, God sees – nothing gets past Him. Everything that we suffer He, Jesus Christ has felt while He walked this earth. No servant is greater than His Master. This means that nothing we suffer is equal to or greater than what Jesus Christ suffered when He went through crucifixion on a wooden cross for us. We have 2 choices in life when we experience suffering. 1. We let it take over and cause us to no longer be fruitful or productive – basically stopping us from moving forward OR 2. We make the choice to endure until the end. We endure our pain, our sufferings knowing that when we endure to the end our life in glory will be a worthy reward. The verse talks of fearing Him – this is fearing God/Jesus Christ. We should not be afraid of Him – we should give Him great reverence. However, if one chooses not to give their life to Jesus Christ then fear as in afraid is a relevant term. He has the authority to cast those who turn their backs on Him and refuse to give their life to Him, into Hell. There is no party in Hell my friends… It’s a place where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth… It’s a place where you will be devoured by the Serpent/Satan just as sweet Soly was devoured by a corn snake. So if a moment of trauma causes me to share with you about a trauma you can avoid for eternity… then so be it… God loves you most. He desires a relationship with you. Don’t think you have to completely change up your life in this instant… Just start talking to God like you would a friend. Find a Bible and in a quiet place begin to read His word. Then as your relationship builds He will teach you and talk to you. In the right moment as you learn and grow, He will help you build your life into what He has planned for you from the beginning. Whatever changes He wants to make you will at that time be ready and willing to make. God values the smallest of creatures, the tiny sparrow valued dollar wise at less than a penny. How so much more He values you!

Good night sweet Soly! Thankful for the value of a lesson your life gave….

Soly and I's selfie...